Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Translating Liberal-Speak

Well, it seems that KathyinBlacksburg has offered Shawn O'Donnel's "12 Core Values of a Democrat." However, since so many Democrats couch their Socialist agenda in obscure or even dishonest language, or meaningless buzzwords, it is important to understand what they really mean. Therefore, I offer O'Donnel's list (with spelling errors), and a translation guide:
Belief in the Constitution and the Bill of Rights as a Living Document of inclusion not exclsuion
Since our Socialist agenda is contrary to the Constitution and the desires of a still-freedom-loving electorate, and we lack the courage to actually try to amend the document (like getting rid of that pesky Second Amendment), we need unelected judges to re-write the fundamental law to achieve our unpopular goals.

Life, Liberty and the Persuit of Happiness for All
... except for the unborn, and those who actually achieve, who are cows to milk to fund our Socialist agenda.

Fairness and Equal Opportunity for All
Of course, "fairness" means whatever we want it to mean, and whatever happens to be expedient on any particular day. Substitute "outcome" for "opportunity."

Protection of the Environment
Remember that part about the Constitution? Well, forget about it as far as your property is concerned. It's particularly important that we have judges who treat it as a "living" document, since we need to read all of its protections of property out of it.

Quality Public Education
Of course, by "quality" we mean "mediocre." And by "public," we mean "government" and "teachers-union" controlled.

Economic Justice for All
Except for those nasties who build a better mousetrap and make obscene profits, who are cows to milk to fund our Socialist agenda. And if you believe "economic justice" means "each getting his dues,i.e., getting paid what he is worth in a free-market economy," then you just haven't been paying attention.

Living Wage Jobs
Read: government-mandated (but not -funded) welfare for people too stupid and/or lazy to take advantage of the wonderful opportunities available in a free-market economy. Of course, we want to get rid of the free market.

Social Security
Read: government-dependency for old people, who vote. Remember, because this is important: He who robs Peter to pay Paul can always count on the support of Paul.

Fiscal Responsibility
Read: Higher taxes.

Workers' Representation and Collective Bargaining
Read: forcing elitist union bosses on workers who are too stupid to know that they need a union, and making them pay for the privilege. And after all, if we can't have union bosses extracting forced dues for politics under the guise of worker "representation," how else are we going to fund our unpopular politicians?

Affordable Health Care, Housing, Utilities and Food
Read: Ridiculously higher taxes.

Homeland Security and Strong National Defense
Always last on our agenda. And, of course, secondary to virtually every preceding item. And every problem in the world can be traced to America. It's our fault. Blame America first. We have so much for which to atone.
Just to make sure that you understand 'em.

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