Wednesday, April 01, 2009

President Barry Announces New Legislative Initiatives

In light of the deepening economic crisis, President Barry took the occasion of the G-20 Summit in London to announce a series of reforms to kickstart the American economy:
1. Immediate closure of the Departments of Housing & Urban Development (which has failed miserably and provided neither housing nor much urban development), Health & Human Services (ditto), Education (double ditto), and Commerce;

2. The firing of Ron Gettelfinger, James P. Hoffa, Gerald McEntee, and Rich Trumka from their posts as heads of the UAW, Teamsters, AFSCME, and the UMW, respectively. Since the President now has the power to fire corporate executives in companies propped up by the government for a few months, there is no reason why he shouldn't be able to fire bosses of unions propped up by the government for decades;

3. An executive order barring the payment of so-called "prevailing" wages on government contracts, and a demand that Congress immediately repeal the racist-motivated Davis-Bacon Act requiring ascertainment and payment of such inflated prices:

4. Called for immediate passage of the National Right to Work Act, and the Freedom from Union Violence Act;

5. Issued a veto threat against the fraudulently-misnomered "Employee Free Choice Act," and the push-button strike bill for first responders;

6. Suspension of Medicare and Medicaid payments and reimbursements, pending full repeal of these programs for socialized medicine;

7. Immediate authorization for off-shore drilling for oil and natural gas in all promising areas; and

8. Making permanent the Bush tax cuts.
My understanding is that, upon hearing this, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi's head exploded.


BillRead said...

Oh man, I have seen some cruel April Fools Jokes, but this one just takes the cake.

James Young said...

What's cruel about it? Unlike most of what President Barry is trying, these are things that would actually work.

BillRead said...

It's only cruel in that someone might actually _think_ this is possible.

James Young said...

Well, one would have to be PROFOUNDLY stupid to think so, and that DOES describe your average Obamoron....

BillRead said...

Exactly, that's why this one takes the cake. Of course, now we've blown the joke -- sorry.

James Young said...

Well, Bill, I'd worry about that, but none of my readers --- all three of them! --- are that stupid. So hopefully, this was all for grins. ;-)